Positivity and Addressing the Issue - How I Deal with Conflict

I’m pretty rubbish with conflict in the workplace.

Maybe it stems from school, but I’ve always hated people getting all up in my face, blaming me for things I haven’t done, when I’ve actually tried all I can to fix a problem. I’m all about fixing a problem… I just hate conflicting with the ones who are that problem. 

There’s a variety of articles you can find throughout the internet on How To Handle Conflict In The Workplace. Just type it into Google and you’re awash with thousands of hits (though honestly, some of them are ridiculous…)

Here are the tips I’ve picked up myself from working in the big old world out there:

1. Be Positive

Not everyone is happy and upbeat. Not everyone is happy and upbeat all the time (to my introverted-self, this idea sounds exhausting). But acknowledging that everyone has their down days and being the happy (but moderately-so) person in the room, asking questions and wishing them well, even giving them a smile works wonders. 

There are times that this doesn’t work. Some people will get ticked off when you try this tactic, but I assure you, keep doing the things you’re doing. They’ll realise you’re not doing it because you’re faking it. You’re doing it because you care. No one wants to be unhappy - it’s miserable and lonely, I know this personally, and I can’t stand the idea that others feel this way. It’s horrible and I try and make sure that if there’s people feeling this particular way, realise they’re not alone.

2. Address the issue

If you’re worried about something you’re doing wrong or the other way around, talk to the people involved - ideally on a one-to-one basis. Work out what’s bothering you and write it down. Bring it up in an update meeting or book time in. 

I’ve had times where I’ve stressed about things I think I’m not doing, or am doing, and not sure if they’re the right thing. This can cause conflict eventually if you don’t do anything about it. Your manager/colleague may get fed up of asking you questions or the other way around. Don’t let things fester…

Talk to them! What’s the worst that could happen? They get angry and shout at you? Well, that hasn’t happened to me yet, and all I can say is honesty is the best policy. It means when the other person has an issue, they’ll feel comfortable about telling you too, and you can work out the next step together as a team.

3. Be tolerant and mindful

Everyone is different. Everyone does things differently, learns differently, works differently to you. I suppose my answer to this is ask questions, observe people and what they do, work out how to use what you can do and how you do it, to influence or change to better the working environment and company as a whole.

Ok, so this is a tip, but I’ve found it difficult to do this myself. You could be under a load of pressure, have a mountain of work, and the last thing you want to do is bother someone else and ask them questions.

But even if you don’t want to bother your manager, what about another work colleague? You’re all in this together. You want to have more time on your hands to focus on the good stuff, the fun stuff, rather than on the less interesting admin and filing that’s piling up.

If there’s a quicker and easier way of doing something, ask someone who’s been there, done that, got the ‘admin queen/king t-shirt’. 

And trust me, they’ll probably appreciate you asking them ‘how it’s done’ and get a bit of a positive kick out of being asked! 

That’s the end of my little tips. I have to say, a lot of it I try to do on a daily or at least a weekly basis. There’s a load more tips out there, and I’ve given a list of them here that I’ve read, which have inspired me to write my own advice.

Guardian: How to deal with difficult people at work

Monster: How to handle conflict in the workplace

Personnel Today: Getting along with your colleagues - what does tolerance at work mean to you?